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Why
Should I Change? The Myth Of
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That’s the fundamental message of this website – the reason that you do not have a solid relationship is you. Nothing else. Not bad luck, not because you “attract jerks,” and not because there aren’t any good men or women out there. It’s you. You’re the only constant in your dating life. The problem comes from the thousands of books, movies, TV shows, and magazines that insist on telling people, especially women, that it’s everybody’s fault but theirs. Or, they’ll try to convince them to change something superficial in order to find a partner, when the real issues are much deeper. Our married friends aren’t much help either, as they insist that we just “need to find the right person.” Most of us lack the self-awareness to know when that right person even shows up, however. I remember reading a book that discussed that there were three different types of people, visually oriented, audio oriented, and print oriented. In order to get the woman I wanted, I was supposed to find out what type of orientation she had and then use the proper words for that type. That’s right, if she was an auditory person, I was supposed to use phrases like, “that rings a bell” and “sounds good to me.” I don’t know what’s sadder, that someone actually published that book or that I actually tried it. That’s how desperate I was to find a simple solution to my dating difficulties. What I needed to do was look inside myself, at the choices I was making, and then examine why those choices were not making me happy. It’s not easy, it’s very hard to do, but being hard is what makes it so great when it finally works out. |
| Copyright 2007 Carl Birkmeyer |